for the man
You have a unique set of burdens and responsibilities as a man. You carry a lot on your shoulders, and it can be hard for the people in your life (including your spouse at times) to fully comprehend what it’s like to be in your shoes. You take your role seriously, but you don’t always know what the best choices are. All you know is that you want to love and protect the people around you, and you want to be able to embrace who you are without feeling judged by society.
You don’t want to be pulled down by depression or anxiety. You want to see clearly.
It’s important for you to feel good about the way you do your job, the way you lead, the way you carry yourself and the way you look at life. Your world view might suffer at times. Maybe it’s taken a severe beating lately. Either way, you want to contribute something substantial to your loved ones, to your community even. You want to feel like you matter, and that at least somebody is being impacted by your good intentions and efforts.
Furthermore, you want to enjoy life. You want to be able to immerse yourself in the fun things that make life worth living. And you want to be able to do these things without feeling that nagging sense of guilt or worthlessness that comes along with it. You just want to be able to laugh.
Finally, you want to feel that what you’re doing here is meaningful. I get that.
for the woman
There is a rich complexity in your station in this world. It’s hard for the men in your life to understand the challenges and the diverse complications that come with womanhood, and maybe this means feeling a little isolated at times. You love your family and friends with a brand of devotion that is both powerful and loyal, and it’s quite possible that this leaves you more vulnerable than you’d like. Regardless, you take your commitments very seriously, and you wear your fatigue in ways that people seldom seem to notice. This is because you don’t give up, even though you sometimes might fantasize about doing so. Let’s face it. Sometimes you just want to walk away from all of it. Yet here you are.
You’re deeply spiritual. It’s important for you to feel connection with people, and with the ultimate reality that is invisible to the common eye.
You love flow.
Your injuries are so sacred, and you are justifiably careful about who you share those with. Maybe you don’t feel at liberty to express what those wounds are like to live with, so you wear them forever on the inside. Yet those injuries are there, and they need some breathing room…
Granted, I’ve never been a woman. But I’m pretty good at listening and offering some perspective all the same.
for the parent
You would die for your child in a heartbeat. At the same time…your children can be the singular most potent catalyst in your descension into insanity.
In all seriousness, you have made sacrifices that are unequaled. Your children will never understand what you have done in your gargantuan siege of love and devotion, at least until they have a child of their own. In the meantime, you are doing your best to guide, instruct and model for them while at the same time dealing with your own fallible nature as a human. It’s an incredibly complicated dance that doesn’t get nearly the respect it deserves. And you have my sincere and fondest respect for assuming this challenging and life-altering role. As such, perhaps you could really use a listening ear from another parent; one who isn’t trying to judge your efforts but who instead just wants to champion your cause.
Alternatively, maybe you want your teenager to have someone to talk to.
Maybe they’re going through a hard time and they could really use a neutral figure in their life to help them navigate all the complexities they’re dealing with. If that’s the case, you also want your teenager’s therapist to be supportive of your role in their life, and who is interested in promoting the parent-child relationship – as opposed to severing it. You want your teenager to be able to talk to someone who understands the sensitive nature of brain development, social angst, and the quest for self-identity, and who can provide a bit of healthy guidance rooted in some life experience. You might want your kid to be talking to a therapist who believes in the integrity of the family unit and who will encourage them to make life choices that are wholesome and empowering while also respecting their unique character.
As a parent myself, I can understand.
for the young adult
You’re just trying to make your way in life. There have been some setbacks, and you’ve already done so much trying to figure out who you are and what you want to do with your life. But something’s still missing.
While you probably already have some trusted people in your life, there are some parts of you that you don’t feel entirely safe disclosing. Maybe it’s because you’re still trying to make sense of them yourself. Trust is something you don’t take lightly, and it’s important for you to feel heard and supported as you figure things out.
You have dreams and visions. At the same time, you struggle to have the courage and the confidence to act on them. Ultimately, it can be a real challenge trying to carve out your mark on this world, despite the passion that burns inside of you.
You’re searching for your voice. Furthermore, you’re looking for that sense of personal authority inside of yourself that will help you steer a meaningful course in your life.
I’m more than happy to chat with you about this.